It’s already well known competitive sports has an unhealthy culture on many levels, watch Athlete A on Netflix if you need a prime example, and we put pressure and value on people’s achievements rather than on the person themselves. I was once a competitive athlete, so I know this all firsthand. This is so dangerous and unhealthy but how does this relate to epilepsy you may ask?
Athletes set goals and their vision on that goal almost becomes tunnel vision. They look at what they need to do to be the best and achieve that goal they’ve set and that’s all they look at. So, when epilepsy comes flying in from the side vision that they don’t have it throws them for a spin. Some handle this better than others.
My mum was always supportive of my sporting career but she also kept me grounded and focused on other things so when my health went downhill and put my career on hold, I was devastated but it wasn’t the end of my world. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel jealousy every time I see a former team mate compete or win or somehow move forward in their career and I’m itching to be up there on a podium with them but I also know my life is worth more than just that.
Not everybody has the same mother that I do. Most athletes put their all into their goal and when epilepsy comes flying in for a surprise visit it genuinely feels like the end of their world. Especially if their education on epilepsy is poor.
I know my epilepsy education and I know my career is on hold. Once my epilepsy is managed, which is possible, I get to start working on my career again which gave me drive to keep working on managing my disease.
Some don’t know any better and believe their career is over, not even their career has changed paths, but that epilepsy has completely obliterated it. Devastation rightfully kicks in. How they handle that devastation is what matters.
While some just box up their trophies and medals and completely turn their back on their sport because that’s how they cope some don’t cope at all and end not only their careers but their lives as well.
While sporting culture has changes it needs to make, such as allowing athletes to widen their view and put their values in multiple areas, so does the medical system. When somebody is diagnosed with epilepsy, they need to start seeing a psychologist straight away for help processing what they’re going through and how they’re feeling. I felt devastated about my career holt but had to navigate that myself like we all do. I’m one of the lucky ones who survived that part of my life. If we were all given the aid we need to navigate such a distraught and overwhelming time in our lives more of us would be the lucky ones who survive.
To all my siblings that have lost their lives because the systems failed them when epilepsy knocked them down, I’m sorry. We must do better and for you I will.