Have you ever walked by a mirror and not recognised yourself?
That’s what my new fundraiser is for.
A dollar for every hair lost and every time I didn’t recognise myself in the mirror as I lost my hair due to epilepsy treatment and as I recovered. To this day, I occasionally have to do a double take as I walk by a mirror because for a split second I recognised the person looking back at me but, for the most part, I don’t recognise the person in the mirror. I see all the features that make me, I even see my hair again now, but I don’t see me.
My sense of identity has permanently warped me into an alien I’ll never truly recognise again. But the minute moments where I do identify the person in the reflection, it’s just as weird a feeling. I still ask, “Who are you?”
It makes sense to me as to why this happens.
Hair is a large part of identity to some and I lost it without control or much support.
What confuses me is, how do I get rid of this morphed image I see in the mirror and bring the real me back? It’s been 4 years since I was taken off of that treatment and allowed my hair to grow back and I still don’t know how to fix this. I thought it would fix itself in time but apparently that’s not the case.
I feel disconnected from my body and not in a dissociative manner caused by FND.
I’m not alone in this. People with epilepsy often lose their hair due to treatment, testing and surgery. While some own this moment in their life, many of us are left in this scary and confusing state.
I want to run the My Hair, I Care fundraiser in honour of my own experience and those of my community. Raising money to help our community through Epilepsy Queensland Inc. and demonstrating solidarity through people altering their hair in our honour.
So if you ever been in my shoes this is for you and if you haven’t you can join my team here to fundraise by getting people to sponsor you to cut, colour or even shave your hair. All are welcome here.